Here’s a big big big thank you to everyone who contributed to this post!
First of all, before you get all up in my business about being factually correct, I am in no way deeming the creepy message phenomenon to be indigenous to India. We all know that in the last 10 years or so, along with the good, bad and ugly repercussions of globalization and the unprecedented advent of social media, all our inboxes and chats started to be frequented by hordes of unknown men that take the form of sexual predators, persistent stalkers, and sometimes just the unfortunately lonely and naive. Everywhere. All over the world. And it’s not limited to Tinder, as one might presume.
But India, because of its many and deep-rooted unjust social systems, entrenched patriarchy, chaotic hierarchies and glaring lack of education, is undoubtedly a veritable dumping ground of creepy men and cyber stalkers that are just another extension of what we Indian women face every day.
So, we go to our ‘Other’ folders on facebook, just for our own amusement. The familiar ‘Hey, you want to make frandship?’ is now pretty much the trademark and most famous of these creepy messages, much like ‘Horn OK Please’, something that all Indians can relate to. Sometimes, we show these creepy messages to our friends so they can laugh along. We show it to our guy friends as ammunition for our arguments, when they so often deny the existence of these claims we make.
I recently put up a facebook status, asking anyone that was interested, to send me snapshots of the messages they received. To my surprise, the response I got was unbelievable, and I not only was flooded with screenshots of creepy messages that friends sent, but many unknown people too (this is probably the only time I’ve opened my ‘Other’ folder without a sense of slight trepidation). I compiled these to make this crowdsourced list and share it with everyone. Since there were so many though, I haven’t put them all in here and will be doing another blog post soon.
1. Let’s start with the ones we’re all familiar with. #Frandship?
I usually blur out the name, but you can see why I just couldn’t help myself.
K, ‘bro’ (who enjoys excessive use of ellipsis).
I see what you did there.
2. Some just like to…get to the point.
He basically just tried to buy sex. Off of Facebook. Yes.
Hey, I’m a total stranger lurking on your profile, but come with me to a shady bar, plis.
Daddy ka business sambhaal deti hu, lekin I dont have any friends. *sniff*
I appreciate this honesty, like being compared to a good vada pav.
What can I buy you with? A shopping spree? A cell phone? A DSLR?
The tables have been turned. Prepare for dickpics.
3. Some amateur poets and philosophers in the house.
Degenerates can rhyme, too.
Total fidaah scenes.
One of Confucius’ disciples.
This guy deserves to be in the Twilight series. Shout out to Stephenie Meyer!
4. If there ever were a time to react with “I dont even”…
Dead. I’m just dead.
Only someone seriously interested in swapping sex and upping the ‘zest and spice’. Strict screening procedure going on here.
Arresting the….what? Jesus….likes sandalwood? SO confused.
Give it up for this guy, championing girls’ right to education
Good usage of visually appealing media to make receiving party feel his anguish. 5 points.
He reeaaaaaaaally wants to know if she’s legit
…..Like REAAAAAAAAALLY wants to know.
Hi Barbie, myself single and virgin Ken. Plz to marry.
That’s all, folks!
Lots more to come in the next post, so watch out for it or sign up for the newsletter! There’s never a dearth of creepy messages so if you want to send us the ones you’ve got, email us at email@example.com. Liked it? Share it!
-Words and compiled by Chantelle Menezes